WARNING: PARADE CONTAINS 99% NUTS!
Join King Mango and his merry band of MangoHeads in Occupying the Grove on Saturday, December 31st. At 2pm, be there in your finest hats and facinators to witness the ceremonial dropping of the banana and the official start of the satirical parade that has been a model of civic engagement and civil uprising throughout the years. With â€œwinningâ€ material â€œripped from the headlines,â€ the Mangoheads will keep you laughing longer than Kim Kardashianâ€™s marriage.
The Grand Marshal this year is Ron Magill. With over 30 years as a wildlife expert and Communications Director for Zoo Miami, there’s no better king of the jungle to lead the animal house of MangoHeads.
Our Strut Celebrity is Katy Sorenson, the never recalled/never indicted/never removed-by-the-governor, former commissioner of Never-Neverland (dba Miami-Dade County.) Katy has been much closer to King Mango than Facebook’s 4 degrees of separation. Strut co-founder, the late Bill Dobson, worked for Katy.
In this interactive parade, the spectators â€“ the true occupiers of the Grove â€“ are encouraged to bring tents, lawn chairs and cardboard signs. You can wake up thinking you are going to watch a parade and end up watching yourself in the evening news IN the parade.
So all you pepper spray enthusiasts get ready to laugh because as creative as we are, we can’t possibly make this stuff up. Watch this past yearâ€™s headlines come to life:
Â· Join Time Magazineâ€™s Person of the Year protesting protestors protesting protestors!
Â· Herman Cain reveals his 9-9-9 Plan for “Women for Cain”!
Â· Go up to see the Wizard of Odds at Miamiâ€™s new destination casino!
Â· Watch out for Highway Patrol Trooper Watts!
Â· Wall Street Vampires tap Charlie Sheenâ€™s Tiger Blood!
Â· Get slimed by giant African snails!
Â· Join Citizens Revolting Against Politicians (The C.R.A.P. Party)!
Â· Party with the Miami Beach Party Cops!
Â· Receive North Korean grief counseling!
Â· Sierra Club throws a baby shower to welcome the 7th billion person on earth!
Â· Watch Dr. Buttock fix-a-flat butt!
Â· Anthropology Majors for Rick Scott!
Â· Watch the new reality show: The Real Housewives of Bin Laden!
And if that wasn’t enough to make you plank, there will also be special appearances by The Gay Penguins, Gaddafi, Anthony Weiner, Donald Trump, Tim Tebow and Strut favorite, Lindsay Lohan!
Expect to see the usual Strut suspects: The Hare Krishnas, the Marching Freds, Running of the Bull Sh*tters, Coconut Grove Juggling Exchange, Progressive Marching Funeral Band, Little Mr. & Miss. Mangoes, former Miss Mangoes and dethroned Miss Mangoes. King Mango Music Massacre will include bands: 18 Wheelers, Tall Boys Soul Band and RoadKill.
The Pre-Parade activities begin at 1:30 pm at the corner of Commodore Plaza and Main Highway with the Little Mr. & Miss. Mango Pageant (for kids 4-10) hosted by Buzz Fleischman, Radio Buzz from WLRNâ€™s â€˜South Florida Arts Beat’. Unlike Toddlers & Tiaras, everyone is expected to win. The winners will ride the first float of the Strut.
Parade begins at 2 pm at the corner of Commodore Plaza and Main Highway. The parade turns left onto Main Highway, turns left onto Grand Avenue at CocoWalk and back to Commodore Plaza. If we are having too much fun, we will go around again until we all fall down. After the Parade, Commodore Plaza will remain closed to traffic and the King Mango Music Massacre begins. All the bands in the parade will continue playing until the festivities end at 6pm.
All this entertainment is FREE and open to the public â€“ meaning it wasnâ€™t funded by TARP. There is plenty of parking along or near the parade route at CocoWalk, Mayfair, Coconut Grove Playhouse parking lot on Main Highway and Charles Avenue, St. Stephens Episcopal Church, Coconut Grove Elementary School, City garage at Oak Avenue and Mary Street, and the City garage next to the Sonesta Hotel. Click here for Coconut Grove map for parking.
For those who don’t want to drive, take the Metrorail to the Coconut Grove Station. There will be shuttle buses (Coconut Grove Circulator) picking up eager parade-goers every 15 minutes at the station and dropping off by the parade route.
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