Club Space: Pinnacle of the Megaclub

I LOVE Club Space. I’ve been going there for years and was a weekly regular at one point. It’s an unruly beast, however, so to optimize your Club Space experience, consider the following.

It is one of the most longstanding clubs in Miami and one of the best known clubs in the world. Yeah, they kinda ripped the name off Space Ibiza, but it’s a minor offense so try to find it in your heart to forgive LP and his crew. You’ll be glad you did.

Your heart will flutter. Your mouth will salivate. You will begin to feel beads of sweat forming on your chest. Your body will pulsate with the bass, thumping through every fiber of your being. And you will have not even entered the club yet, because all that is just the anticipation you feel when crossing the threshold is imminent.

You will hear Alan T. before you see him, but you’ll know him when you do. Don’t even try to beg a favor if you don’t know him or aren’t dressed in the chicest of fashions. You may catch a glimpse of the entertainment for the night: gorgeous go-go dancers made up in costumes dreamt up by the craziest of minds.

As you get ready for your visit, consider the door policy. It is one reason why I love Space so much. The general idea is “come as you are.” Wanna wear a hat? Ok. Sporting your college tee? Sure. Prefer to wear sneakers? Damn right! You better wear shoes because this place gets nasty. No door drama here, because if your money (or your credit) is good, you’re welcome at Space. Yes, there can be a line, but it moves fast (WMC notwithstanding).

Don’t be an ass to the door staff. You don’t know them, so don’t call out to them, even if your cousin’s babysitter’s mother-in-law told you one of their names. They don’t care. Wait your turn, do as you are told, and you will be given your chance. Don’t complain about the entrance fee, because if you don’t want to pay it, there are hundreds of other people who will.

Know what to expect. This is a huge club with an extremely loud sound system and an exceptionally sophisticated lights and visuals show. It’s dark and there’s nowhere for you to sit unless you buy bottles. It’s a DANCE club, after all, so give that a shot. Bring cash, because you will be served more quickly and you really don’t want a bartender in a dark club holding on to your credit card (or worse, debit card) and ID anyway. Be nice to your bartender (and patient) and you will be served efficiently with strong drinks for a fair price.

Don’t bring anything dangerous, don’t start shit with the bouncers, don’t try to skip out on your bill, and don’t even THINK about bringing illegal substances into the club. They are strict at Space because they are nightlife pros, and if you’re just here to have a good time, that should make you feel more comfortable, not less.

Space brings top DJs from all over the world, so figure out who’s spinning at what time when you go. Go upstairs; the terrace is primo at sunrise, even as a solarium. The club has a 24-hour liquor license and will stay open as long as people are spending money.

Those who complain about the prices at Space should consider for a moment what one month’s FPL bill might look like at a warehouse that size. Or payroll taxes for the entire staff. Or, most of all, DJ fees for some of the biggest names in the world.

Bottom Line: Space is the pinnacle of the megaclub in this country. You simply must go, at least once. A visit to Space is, and was designed to be, an experience.

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